Long time no post....
Yes, I know how long its been, but if I can tell you....
Yes, you did tell me to call...
No, I haven't really been that busy not to be able to pick up a phone...
no, I have not suffered any serious injuries or losses lately....
but I did send you a card on your birthday ....
well, its not my fault if the post offace looses it...
well, I lost out on the postage and the cost of the card....
no, saving a buck thirty five is not the first thing on my mind when I'm talking to you...
Oh, you had to bring that up didn't you....
No, it was a long time ago ....
no, I feel that I have appropriately redeamed myself since then....
what are you talking about, your mother never said anything bad about me....
behind my back....
I think you should calm down before we continue this conversation....
no, I'm not being insensitive....
please don't throw things at me....
what about the milkman....
mornings when i'm away for work....
you know I don't travel for work, right....
...and we don't even have a milkman....
no, that would be the cat....
really? I wouldn't imagine that you could do that with a cat....
fine! It was the "Milk Man" then....
How dare 'I' take this tone with you....
what? you think the cat would treat you better....
I'm pritty confident that is not the case....
Just think of the logistics. A cat delivering milk....
well, i'm not calling you a lier, just crazy....
ok, lets try and think of this logically....
maybe sort of like a reverse werewolf, but with a cat....
no, I think the most absurd thing I ever said was "gibbly gibbly bumble bee"....
nothing compared to you....
now now, dont drag the furniture into this....
well, maybe just the otoman....
I will not perform piracy in my own house....
not even with a very talented squid....
well, if thats how you feel about it...
I think the "milk man" needs to be fed....
hey now, that one almost hit me....
i'm going to head out to the store then....
yes, infact I do....
do you want me to pick you up anything....
thats out of season....
I'm pritty sure we have enough of that as it is....
I'll have to check, but I don't think anywhere around here sells that in a jar....
why? Because it could be considered homicide....
That Was a joke by Steven King. You can't actually get a heart of a young child in a jar!....
thats a federal felony to bring accross state boarders....
ok. A bottle of burbon, and some chocolate it is....
ok, I'll pick up cloves too....
do try and calm down, you know how it startles the 'milk man'....
ok, i'm going, i'm going....
:Slam:

::I was sitting next to him during the conference, and I saw that he was squirming around a lot. It wasn't until I looked that I realized he had his hand stuck in a candy jar. Just like a trained monkey. I'm sure that if he had let go of the candy, he could have gotten his hand out, but he was dedicated::