Well, after a long wait, I bring you the latest back-log quotes. I hope you enjoy them all, and forgive me for my laziness lately. Without further ado .... de inventing room!

::The internet, your reliable source for movie times and pornography ..... and other stuff::

::The Pocket Crosswords of Severus Snape::

::That's right. I hit him so hard, he fell off the internet::

::I like my women how I like my coffee, ground up and in my Freezer!::

::My behind is enjoying a rather smooth ride::

::This is not magic in any way, I'm just a freak::

::Use that little sub routine in your academic heads::

::I'M GOING TO KILL YOU CHRIS::

::Happy divided by happy is dead. That's what depression is about, and then columbine happens::

::Years from now you will have a bag, not filled with pens, but with bullets, all meticulous and what not::

::I love Asian culture because Buddha isn't going to come back and kill us all::

::Matt: Speaking about a newly paved road::

::This isn't going to be one of those things where you rip my dick off and flog me to death with it because I'm a man and don't understand the difficulties of being a woman, is it?::

::She's ..... reasonably pissed ...... most of the time::

::I saw the pants, and I was scared::

::Well it's not as bad as me betting my Vagina::

::If I had to guess whose birthday it is, I would guess the man with the flower in his shirt::

::Skullcutioner: Making Brutality Fun Again::

::Even worse are the idiots who scarf down these sub-childish morsels of comedic relief, playing into Lucas' shallow theatrics so easily that you could sell these people hookers in a vagina storm::

::Behold! I am angry! Note my furrowed brows! Furrowed because I'm ANGRY! Grrr::

::Taller than Shaq, with a boner of steal::

::I think your eyes are bigger than your liver::

::Senior VP on phone: No, you can't order Chilean sea bass anymore! They're all bred artificially in ponds. The real ones are going extinct out of sheer deliciousness::

::You are all sinners in the eyes of the turtle::

::I touched her hand. Her Hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I touched some boob. Algebra is AWESOME::

::That's a ridiculous question. There's no Platonic ideal of blowjobs::

::I really don't know how much it will cost... I make alcohol, I don't buy alcohol::

::Don't worry, I won't fail this quest .... test::

::My balls are sweating as we speak::

::If you try that, by thunder, I'll take my pants off .... no wait, that came out wrong::

::Come on, what are they gonna do? Sail up there and kick your ass?::

::You should sell your body and then you will get a mount::

::They are like used cars; driven hard, but still nice to look at::

::Marriage is a lot like a hurricane .... a whole lot of blowing at first, and at the end they loose their house::

::You know how much fun I would have .... minus the fire::

::There was a bush in between there::

::Find a nice tree and screw it to it::

::Its time to take Lincoln off the penny. That pituitary freak should've just let the confederacy go::

::Remember HAL from 2001? Good luck fucking that::

::Nothing says "Getting busy" like the sound of a bed loosing structural integrity::

::AT&T sells sex favors?::

::So, by that definition, Angelina Jolie is porn::

::I dub today National Violence Day::

::They had golden-brown mullets and when they moved they shined::

::And then you wrote him that death treat on the hello kitty stationary and left it on his locker::

::...and Teddy Roosevelt was like "unfinished business" then he fucking harpooned Hitler right in his face::

::Mommy, what's the opposite of hair?::

::The small of fireworks always reminds me of fucking a dead hooker::

::I'm going to line my pockets with plastic ... and hotdog::

::What's the American 4th of July without a big German field gun::

::Anyone wants a cookie, my pockets are filled with explosives::